Saturday my spouse and I got our covid vaccination, shot one of two. I thought I would experience vaccination day as a big celebration. Although it felt like an important day, I felt mostly stressed. I don’t know why. Perhaps it was being in an office again after so long (we got our shots through the company doctor). Or the idea that it could have been a big party, but we’re still distancing, so everybody had a 15-minute appointment and there was no celebrating involved. Or it was that nobody else seemed to be really happy either. Or that the shot is only protecting us in a while and that only two weeks after the second shot we’re properly protected. That’s the thing—this pandemic is far from over. And even when I’m fully vaxxed, most people aren’t. Even here in Germany we’re still far away from herd immunity.
I do know I’m very lucky of course. Even got the best type of vaccine available, with highest protection and mild side effects. Perhaps I feel more excited after my second shot. Or better, we should celebrate a little!
Anyway, those mild side effects aren’t exactly a mood booster. I’ve been feeling very tired since Sunday morning. Random muscles ache occasionally. Every now and then I feel a bit feverish. Quickly agitated. Can’t think well or recall things quickly. I watched Das Boot. I empathized with the sinking submarine, pointless, squeaking and rumbling under pressure. I imagine this is what feeling very old feels like.