Day 174

My plan for relaxing more, getting better sleep and being happy again seems to be working. It’s not like I’m constantly full of joy and super relaxed now, but I feel like I’m getting a grip on my mood and sleep again. Some days, I’m better able to concentrate. My memory of anything that happened since March is still warped. Everyone I talk to seems to experience this though. My spouse also found it strange to realize that our children have only been going to daycare regularly for a month now. Coworkers can’t remember what projects they worked on since May.

The strange thing with sleep and my wellbeing is that I’m never sure if I sleep little because I’m worried or stressed, or the other way around. Or both.

I find it difficult to stick to all rules in my plan on all days. Especially after a day of work and bringing the children to bad (my spouse and I take turns doing the latter), I want to do something fun. A lot of what is fun for me involves my computer. And one of the rules is that I don’t use the computer after 21:00, except for journaling. Not doing side projects is both very relaxing and a bit frustrating, because I love doing them so much and new ideas keep on piling up in my mind.

I started to paint (badly) with watercolors again, which is fun too. I feel no pressure to be good at it because I have no illusion to ever apply that in a work context.

Not carrying my phone with me at all times I still find difficult, but I’ve basically locked myself out of distracting platforms, so that’s not really a problem.

Only reading news on Sundays is great. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything. Because of work, I ended up on a news site today. I accidentally read something about how the US is falling apart. I find it easier to distance myself from it now though and can was able to go back to my task at hand without feeling anxious.

I definitely don’t manage to meditate every day, but I’m doing relaxation exercises of some kind almost every day. One of those things is listening to music with my eyes closed and doing nothing else. That’s nice.

Doing exercise, relaxation and reflection every day is a bit much beside work an the household. But I do feel I really benefit from reflections. I’ve updated my journal app’s daily reflection template to get the most out of it and will try to really stick to doing daily reflections.

Time to go to bed now.

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